"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1 (NIV)

To Trust in God and His Son

      Often these words are comfort in times of grief.  This is a familiar Scripture reading used at funerals.  Jesus continues to speak words of assurance:

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going."         John 14:2-4 (NIV)

      Jesus Christ is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6).  This is the answer Jesus gives when one of his disciples (Thomas) asks him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"  (John 14:5).

      Many Christians have found great comfort in these words of Jesus.  Not only were these words of comfort and assurance for Jesus' disciples as Jesus was preparing them for his earthly death and departure, but also comforting assurance for countless Christian disciples thereafter.

      It is always a blessing to be a part of the dying journey with members.  As a pastor, I have a unique opportunity and privilege to walk with people as they are dying. Being present with family members in prayer, reading Scripture, singing hymns, or simply in the holy silence of grief as they watch their loved one die, is my privilege - a blessing to me.  I get the opportunity to experience faith active in the one dying and in the family who is preparing for death.  It is also a privilege to encourage trusting in God's goodness and God's promises.

      To trust in God's goodness and all his promises of forgiveness and life in his Son, Jesus Christ, is the active faith which our Lord desires: "Trust in God; trust also in me."

      To trust God and Jesus Christ is to let go of our fears and to allow all the words of promise in Scripture to do its work.  There is no clearer time in our life when we know we are not in control of all things than watching a loved one die.  It is a helpless time of waiting and watching.  To feel useless and not be able to "fix" the problem is most obvious. 

      In these moments is when so many find the long hours an opportunity to contemplate the larger and most important questions that matter.  Matters of faith and trust in God, of how one has lived their life, of what one has not yet been able to accomplish, what one will miss in death and not able to do, and what will happen to the loved ones left in life's journey are the important matters now.  It seems that all the other worries and concerns that seemed to preoccupy their life were rather unimportant compared to all these.

      I've had to personally deal with these kinds of ultimate questions.  Even though I was not at my birthmother's bedside in the hospital during her months of agony from her liver cancer, I was blessed with the opportunity to see her one last time before she died. 

      My birthmother died on Saturday, February 9^th.  I opened up the email informing me of her death Sunday morning at 6:30am as I had gone to the church office to prepare for worship.  I knew this information would come at anytime.  Even so, it still took me by surprise.  The fullness of that information didn't really hit me until a day later.  That was it.  She is dead.  No more opportunities to see her and learn more about her. 

      The email informed me that she died alone in her hospital bed.  I felt guilt for not being there.  I wanted to be there.  I wished I could have held her hands as she died.  In her last moments in life - she died alone.  I feel guilt.  I hurt inside and my heart breaks for her dying journey.

      Do I want to talk about it?  No, I don't.  But I feel I owe it to all those who know my story and have been supportive in prayer and finances to let you know.  Someone had asked me recently about my birthmother.  When I told them she had died, they suggested that I tell everyone about the situation.  I said I would in my own time and in my own way.  A week later, once again they encouraged me to tell others.  I responded in the same way.

      Well, I guess this is my way.  But do I really want to talk about it and dig deep into my feelings and how it hurts and how I grieve and feel guilty?  No, I don't.  I'd rather not talk about it at all.  I am not yet ready.  I need my time and my way of dealing with it.

      Is it wrong that I feel this way?  Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.  What I do know from being with others is that people seem to need their space and their way of working through their emotions.  To simply "be there" and "to listen" when they are ready to talk and want to process their feelings is what it means to be a friend in a time of need.

      To be a Christian friend in a time of need can also mean praying with them and giving them words of assurance that God is a good and gracious God.  To give the hope and life in Christ is to remind others that Christ is Lord of life and Lord of Death.

      To be the face of Christ for someone in need is to accept them for all they are without judgment and criticism and love them with all your heart.

      To trust in God and to trust in his Son, Jesus Christ is to allow the goodness and promises of God to do its work.  Allow God and trust that God will use people and situations for goodness in God's time.  Healing and life will come.  I trust in that - because I trust in my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ.